The 5 most annoying archetypal online reactions to a famous person’s death.
The Weeping Widow
“When I heard the news this morning, I broke down in tears and called in sick today. I still can’t believe it. The world lost a true hero and visionary today. I don’t know if I can cope. RIP.”
This person gets waaaay too emotional over a stranger’s death. They act as though a close friend or family member died. Often this person was a fan of the deceased famous person’s work (if they were an artist/entertainer/writer) whereas, other times, this person is just a compulsive griever (You know, the type who cry when they learn that somebody they barely knew eg. a neighbour died.) That is not to say it is wrong to feel upset when somebody you looked up to dies - in fact, that’s perfectly normal. But there’s a difference between feeling sad and feeling like your life is over.
The Defamer
“While we all go out of our way to canonise this “hero” of ours, let’s not forget his businesses had very unethical labour practices, hiring employees at minimum wage and producing products that have parts made in sweatshops. Also, if he was so “generous” why didn’t he give ALL of his money to charity? Burn in hell, scumbag!”
Ruh roh! Somebody famous has died and people, at large, have decided to be respectful, y’know, just for a day. This will not stand! The Defamer’s mission in this circumstance is to make sure that history remembers what a monster the famous person secretly was. The Defamer also likes to use outrageous straw men, saying things like “You wouldn’t have mourned Hitler, would you? So why mourn this guy?” as if the person in question was a genocidal dictator. Fun fact: Usually when a genocidal dictator is killed and everybody else is pleased with the news, The Defamer plays the “You are all monsters for dancing on somebody’s grave!” card. For The Defamer is contrarian by nature.
The Loud Sociopath
“So, somebody I have never met and never would’ve met died? Big deal. People die all the time but they don’t get news stories about them. Wake me up when something important happens.”
“What’s going on? Somebody famous died. Everybody on Facebook is talking about it. It’s a trending topic on Twitter and Tumblr is filled with tributes to them. I don’t get it. I mean, I know who the person was but so what? I am not upset. I’ll have to knock some sense into everybody else by telling them that is how they should feel too!” If this is you, then you are The Loud Sociopath. TLS isn’t necessarily actually a sociopath, of course. They just personally have no feeling towards this particular famous person’s death, for whatever reason. While not feeling for someone’s death is perfectly normal, what separates TLS from the others is they resent the fact that other people feel something. They feel obliged to make people feel like idiots and puppets of the media for having a little human empathy towards the death of somebody who clearly had an influence on humanity. Unlike The Defamer, TLS doesn’t have ill to speak of the deceased. They just want everybody to stop caring.
The Green-eyed Monster
“While we are all upset about the death of this really famous person, society seems to have forgotten that, today, another significantly less famous person died. Unlike the really famous person, this person was more about substance than fame. But I guess, in our mass media culture, we only grieve who we’re told to.”
Somebody famous died? Wow, everybody’s on the news! You have nothing to add? Why not go on Wikipedia and find out who else died today/yesterday? That way you can show off how brilliant you are and how stupid everybody else is, by preferring to mourn the death of some Hungarian writer and political activist from the 70s that nobody who is not from/an expert in that region of the World would have even heard of. Sorry to break it to you, but people mourn famous people’s deaths because they indirectly know them. They’ve seen their movies, read their books, listened to their songs and bought their computers. While it is sweet that you are honouring somebody whose death is largely being ignored, holding that over other people doesn’t make you a hero or intelligent - just a dick.
The Hipster
“Of course, while the dead famous person is well known for his ‘contributions’ to this field, what everybody neglects to realise is he is no innovator or pioneer and most of what you would consider his contributions, he stole from other less famous people. I’ll save my mourning until they die!”
Similar to the Green-eyed Monster, The Hipster wants to prove to everybody how smart they are and how stupid everybody else is. Unlike The Green-eyed Monster, they aren’t satisfied enough with just trying to take the spotlight away from the dead famous person. They need to make sure that the dead famous person has to have every one of their achievements brought into question too. Not to the degree of The Defamer, who wants to turn the deceased into a monster, they just want to show what a fool you are for not only respecting someone else upon their death but respecting them for anything at all. They often will cite the influences that the dead famous person has drawn upon (if they are a writer/musician) or previous inventors whose inventions they may have innovated on. If said predecessor is still alive, The Hipster will make a snarky comment, pondering whether or not they will receive the same reverence in death as the dead famous person. The Hipster thinks they are clever by making these condescending references. What they don’t realise, though, is just about all innovation and creation is derivative of something older and they don’t come off as smart and cool, just stupid and annoying.
